“It's not what you look at that matters; it's what you see.”
- Henry David Thoreau
I just got back from a whirlwind trip to Europe. It was quite the vacation. I visited four countries over two full weeks. The bags are unpacked, the laundry is done, and I'm still processing it all. Mostly, I’m thinking about the tulips.
We made a day trip outside Amsterdam to the Keukenhof gardens. If you haven't been, put it on your list. Seven million bulbs in bloom at once. Breathtaking ribbons of red, yellow, purple, and white as far as you can see. There were people there from every country on earth, standing in the middle of all that color, mostly silent. Not because anyone told them to be quiet, but because there are some things so beautiful that talking feels like the wrong response.
I stood there for a long time. Not looking but seeing.
That's a distinction I've been chewing on ever since. I look at things all day long. My calendar, never-ending to-do list, inbox. I look at all of it constantly and see very little. But standing in that field, with no agenda and nowhere else to be, something in me finally got still enough to actually take it in.
I needed that more than I knew. So many of us live at a pace that makes beauty hard to access. Not because it isn't there, but because we aren't. We are always slightly ahead of the present moment, already thinking about what comes next. Travel slows that down, and a field of tulips in full bloom slows it down completely.
This trip also gave me something else to think about. Something a little less comfortable than flowers
I really tried to watch the way people lived, moved, and connected in the places we visited. People in cafes, not performing productivity. Long meals that weren't rushed. Conversations between strangers that nobody seemed to be in a hurry to end. A gentleness in the pace of daily life that felt genuinely foreign to me.
My first reaction was to soak in the loveliness of it all. My second reaction was to mourn what seems to be missing in my own country.
Somewhere in the accumulation of years and responsibilities and the particular American religion of busyness, I think we have collectively let some things go. We seem to be missing margin and presence.
The art of an unhurried conversation is rare.
Seeing a different way of living didn't make me want to move to Europe. It made me want to ask harder questions about home and what I've accepted as normal. It made me want to examine the pace I've set and who, exactly, set it. Most importantly, it has caused me to wonder if the life I've built actually reflects the person I want to be, or just the person I've been trained to be.
That's what travel does when you let it. It holds up a mirror. And mirrors don't lie, even when we'd prefer they would.
After two eventful weeks away, I came home. I walked through my front door, dropped my bags in the entryway, and just stood there. The house was quiet giving me a chance to look around at my life. Seeing it all filled me with calm and joy.
There is no place like home. That's not a cliche. I realize that home only gives us what we're willing to see in it. If we look at our own lives the way we look at a beautiful country we're visiting for the first time, with curiosity, openness, and genuine attention, we might be amazed at what we find.
The tulips were magnificent, but so is my own backyard when I stop long enough to actually see it. I am thankful that a two week pause has reignited the love I have for my home, my life, and my people. Distance does make the heart grow fonder, if you are open to growth. Now it’s making the open mind, slower approach, and fresh perspective stick!
Where have you stopped really seeing your own life?
TWO TIPS TO SEE LIFE THIS MONTH
1. ENGINEER A SMALL DISRUPTION THIS MONTH
You don't have to book a flight to get the benefit of a changed perspective. Eat somewhere unfamiliar. Take a different route. Say yes to an invitation you'd normally decline. The goal is to interrupt the autopilot long enough for your real thoughts to surface. Our routines are efficient, but they can also be numbing. A small disruption wakes something back up.
2. LOOK AT YOUR LIFE LIKE A VISITOR WOULD
Before you go to sleep tonight, ask yourself: if someone who loved and admired me spent the day watching how I live, what would they notice? What would delight them? What would concern them? What would they tell me I was missing? We extend enormous grace and curiosity to places we visit. Our own lives deserve the same. You might be surprised at the beauty you've stopped seeing, and the things you're ready to finally change.
Traci Schubert Barrett is a Nashville-based keynote speaker and founding executive of HGTV, where she helped grow a fledgling idea into a billion-dollar brand. After two decades in media, she walked away to ask a bigger question: what if there’s more than success? That question became her award-winning book, What If There’s More?: Finding Significance Beyond Success, and her Healthy Ambition™ framework, which helps leaders and entrepreneurs achieve high performance without burnout. She is co-founder and President of Navigate the Journey.
