"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."
- T.S. Eliot
When we are young and hungry, we convince ourselves that one day, if we just work hard enough, we will feel completely, peacefully, and undeniably done.
Newsflash: we won't.
Not because we failed but because that's not how any of this works.
The question I keep coming back to is this: do we ever actually arrive?
The honest, slightly humbling answer is probably not. Not in the way we imagined it.
I used to think arrival was an actual place. A moment. The deal closing, the book coming out, the kids turning into fully functioning adults, the stage getting bigger, the resume looking exactly right. In reality, each time I “arrived”, the finish line quietly moved. Not in a cruel way. In the way that life just...does.
Every single one of us entered this world in a moment we will never remember, and every single one of us will one day exit in a moment we cannot yet predict. The beginning and the end bookend something I like to call the middle. The beautiful, messy, occasionally maddening middle.
I've come to believe that the middle is not a waiting room for arrival. It is the whole point.
May feels like a good time to talk about this. Spring is almost over. Summer is right around the corner. Things are blooming, moving, and changing, whether we planned for it or not.
Many of us are quietly asking: Am I where I'm supposed to be?
The tricky thing about ambition is that it always wants more. That's not a flaw. That longing for growth and progress is actually one of the most human things about us. The problem creeps in when we decide that more means we haven't arrived, and not arriving means something is wrong with us.
Here's a different way to think about it. What if you're always arriving? What if every single day you show up, grow a little, learn something, love someone well, or simply keep going despite feeling like you should be further along than you are, is you actually arriving? Not at a destination. Into a version of yourself.
I spent years waiting to feel like I had finally made it. Then one afternoon, it occurred to me that I might be waiting for a feeling that doesn't actually exist. The people I most admire don't feel like they have arrived either. They just keep going. With curiosity, purpose, and a willingness to be in progress.
There is a real peace available to you when you release the idea that someday you will feel completely settled, finished, certain, and done. That is not a tragedy; it is an invitation.
You are not behind. You are not missing it. You are in it. Right now. The magical middle. The good news is we don't have to have it all figured out to make it count.
So go forth and keep on arriving!
TWO TIPS TO kEEP ARRIVING
1. STOP GRADING YOURSELF AGAINST A FINISH LINE THAT KEEPS MOVING
Pick one area of your life where you've been measuring yourself against some imaginary standard of "arrived." Maybe it's your career, your health, your relationships, your finances. Write down what "arrived" looks like in that area, and then ask yourself honestly: who decided that? Is it actually yours, or did you inherit it from someone else's expectations? Clarity on this changes everything. You can't fully commit to your own life while running someone else's race.
2. NAME YOUR PROGRESS, NOT JUST YOUR GOALS
Most of us are very good at tracking what we haven't done yet. We are much less practiced at recognizing how far we've actually come. Before the month ends, write down three ways you are genuinely different from how you were a year ago. Not achievements. Just name growth or shifts in perspective. Progress is happening whether you notice it or not. Notice it.
Traci Schubert Barrett is a Nashville-based keynote speaker and founding executive of HGTV, where she helped grow a fledgling idea into a billion-dollar brand. After two decades in media, she walked away to ask a bigger question: what if there’s more than success? That question became her award-winning book, What If There’s More?: Finding Significance Beyond Success, and her Healthy Ambition™ framework, which helps leaders and entrepreneurs achieve high performance without burnout. She is co-founder and President of Navigate the Journey.
