“Live life when you have it. Life is a splendid gift – there is nothing small about it.”
– Florence Nightingale
I’ve spent the last few weeks fighting pneumonia. To sum it up - not fun. I haven’t been that sick in a long time, and having an illness that leaves you chained horizontally is an eye-opening experience. I’m not the type of person to just allow myself weeks of zoning out, but my body gave me no other options. The bad part of being sick is obvious, so I’ll stick to the silver lining. When you are home alone with your thoughts and no ability to really escape, you have no other choice but to wrestle with the demons in your head. After I was done dreaming of all the things I was going to do after I was upright again (i.e. workout, drink green juice, clean out my mess of a closet) and watching a few mind-boggling Hallmark movies, I found myself wondering how I could make my empty nest/midlife crossroads the most exciting time of my life.
A midlife crossroads is a chance to hit reset like never before. One great way to begin to reset your mindset is to ask yourself the question:
What does it mean to me to not live small?
But what does that actually look like? It’s easy to picture a life that’s “not small” and immediately jump to grand, flashy ideas. Maybe it’s traveling the world, launching a business, or finally writing that novel. For some, those things might fit perfectly. But for others, a big life might look quieter. Maybe it's spending more time in nature, nurturing deep friendships, or rediscovering a long-lost hobby that makes your soul light up.
The truth is, living big isn’t about size. It’s about fit.
Think of Goldilocks testing out those chairs, bowls, and beds. She didn’t settle for what was biggest or most impressive. She found what was “just right.” And that’s what crafting a big life is all about. It has to be “just right” for you. That might mean you pursue bold goals that leave others wide-eyed with admiration. Or it could mean creating a life that seems simple, even puzzling, to some in your life, but brings you profound joy. Maybe it’s both. The key is that it aligns with who you are and what matters to you.
Because the opposite of living small isn’t necessarily living loud.
It’s living true.
It’s choosing curiosity over comfort. Intention over autopilot. It’s asking yourself, “What would light me up?” and then being brave enough to take that first small step toward it (regardless of what anyone else thinks).
So, what feels “just right” to you, Goldilocks? What’s that thing you can’t stop thinking about? What’s been tugging at your heart while you’ve been busy with everything else?
Whatever season of life you are in isn’t an ending. It could be a wide-open beginning. A chance to recalibrate and craft something that feels wonderfully, unapologetically yours.
Big. Small. Weird. Wonderful. As long as it’s your version of “just right,” you’ll know you’re on the right path.
Because when you stop living small, and you start choosing you, you begin to realize that life truly is the splendid gift Florence Nightingale spoke of. And there’s nothing small about that.
TWO TIPS FOR CREATING YOUR BIG LIFE
1. GET CLEAR ON WHAT LIGHTS YOU UP
Living big starts with knowing what actually makes you feel alive rather than what looks good on paper or impresses others. Pay attention to those moments when time flies, when you feel most like yourself. It could be creating something, helping others, exploring new places, or simply having slow mornings with your coffee and a book. Your version of a big life is rooted in these small sparks. Follow them. Make a “Joy List.” Write down 10 things—big or small—that bring you joy or make you feel like your best self. That list is the beginning of figuring out which direction is best for you.
2. STOP WAITING FOR PERFECT CONDITIONS
The “right time” is a mirage. Life is happening now. Often, we wait too long. We will do it when the kids are grown, we’re healthier, or work slows down. But the truth is, the path to a big life is paved with small steps taken today. You don’t need a dramatic overhaul. Start where you are, with what you have. Pick one small action you can take this week toward something that excites you. Sign up for the class. Take the solo hike. Email the person you admire. Action breeds momentum.
Bring this message to your team. Living true, not loud, applies to how we lead and work. Traci's Healthy Ambition keynote helps leaders and teams achieve more without burning out. She speaks in Nashville and nationwide.
Traci Schubert Barrett is a Nashville-based keynote speaker and founding executive of HGTV, where she helped grow a fledgling idea into a billion-dollar brand. After two decades in media, she walked away to ask a bigger question: what if there’s more than success? That question became her award-winning book, What If There’s More?: Finding Significance Beyond Success, and her Healthy Ambition™ framework, which helps leaders and entrepreneurs achieve high performance without burnout. She is co-founder and President of Navigate the Journey.
